Thursday, June 11, 2009

I Am Human Too.....

Sometimes I think folks I know truly forget that at times. Like a lot of people take advantage of how good of a person I am, I feel @ times. Not so much on purpose, but it happens. Once, an old friend asked me how do I stay so positive through all the things I've been through in life (especially in the pass few years), and I said I don't know. Other than the grace of god, and trying to stay surrounded by positive people. Sometime I think people forget that I'm human as well. Like I try to be good to most people. I respect everyone, and try not to really hurt anyone (on purpose). I feel like @ times I try to always be that super friend, super son, super boyfriend, super brother and etc. But some days I get tired too. Some day's I like for people to just ask me how am I doing. Talk to me. Put some effort in the relationship we have. Something other than draining me like I'm not a person just like you. I get tired of putting my wagon to the side to help others pull theirs, and when its time for me to pull mines, after being tired from lending my hand out all day I see everyone heading forward forgetting about me. Not in a mean way. Its like Oh that's Deonte` he can do anything so I don't have to worry about him. He's a solider. And that may be true, but every solider needs a support system. Not saying I don't have that, because lord knows I do. But all I ask is for people to sometimes recognize when your friend, son, boyfriend, brother, or whatever I may mean to you is not having a good day. It's not always something serious going on. Sometimes I just may need a talk, or a hug. At times I would like for you to just initiate some things, instead of waiting for me to do them. Just like I do for you in your time of need. Its just the simplest things that may make me happy. Like people say to me all the time, "I haven't seen you in months, or heard from you." And I'm like, well it works both ways. See people get too comfortable, and forget it takes two, to make things work in any kind of relationship. And I'm not talking about no on in particular in this post. Just how I been feeling lately. I just mention the labels (son, boyfriend, friend, brother & etc.) Because that's what I am. I love the people around me so much, and appreciate them all. They have been here for me, and helped me through a lot. And I'm totally thankful for that. All I ask is that it don't just stop there. Some days I hurt just like you. I have issues just like you. I cry just like you. I have battles just like you. Most importantly I love myself just like all you do & need you all just like you all need me. I know I'm always smiling, and seem full of energy, but some days behind that is a wounded person, that's just like you.... HUMAN. Thanks for reading.... I know I don't always do blogs like this, but I had to get this off my chest... enjoy the rest of your day.



I was listening to my Ipod on the train today coming home from work, and this song came on. I never heard it before until now, and I loved it. So I wanted to share it with you guys. He sounds like Anthony Hamilton to me (in some parts of the song), but it's a guy by the name of John Rich from the Randy Jackson's Music Club: Volume One CD ... ;)

Home - John Rich

11 comments:

speaking hypothetically said...

WOW!!!...I love this Testament D and it's very true for many people. It's very easy to take people for granted and find yourself draining energy from others without ever giving back...DID I MENTION I LOVE THIS ENTRY :)

Jon said...

"See people get too comfortable, and forget it takes two, to make things work in any kind of relationship." -Deonte K

This completely struck a cord with me. It explains the disintegration of my last relationship, which I took too long to end because I didn't want to be by myself again (which is the worst excuse for not ending a toxic relationship). I was a bit younger and a lot less experienced in life when I began that ill-fated relationship, but like you, I've always been the "super" kid. I try to be the best friend, best boyfriend, best student, best son, best brother, and it really takes a toll on me, even though I rarely admit it. It didn't help that my peers always made it seem as though everything I did was "perfect", when in reality no one or nothing is perfect. You don't know how many times I've tried to be nice to people, only to be kicked in the face and lied to over and over again. I can identify with the way in which you clearly know that all relationships require an effort on everyone's part. When you are the only one trying to set dates and spent quality time together, the relationship is just not worth it anymore. When you are the one sitting at home thinking about someone who has began to consider you as an option, its just not worth it. I can tell from this post that you also clearly recognize that life is too short for such tomfoolery and everyone needs a shoulder to cry on sometimes. Some people don't realize how their reactions can determine someone's fate. What I mean is that some people have tried to hurt themselves because they felt ignored and unwanted. However, when an individual has called their friend, and that individual comes over, gives their friend a hug and just listens to their problems, that person realizes that someone in their life truly DOES care about them. Sometimes just a simple gesture can make someone's day or save their life. However, some people are too self-centered and too self-absorbed to realize this, whether they be gay, straight, or bisexual. They'll primp themselves up and try to look cute on Facebook rather than PHYSICALLY visit a friend who is truly in need.

Wonderful post Deonte.

thegayte-keeper said...

Remember that you are human...I know this all too and lately I've kept to myself because you get the feeling that your spot in this world only matters when others need something from you...so many times I thought to myself why are you asking how I am doing? If you cared about me wouldn't you know already? But humans are selfish creatures and some of us put our needs ahead of others only to be left asking hey what about me?

Dusty Boot said...

*hugz*

PRIMO said...

I Am SO feeling everything you are saying in this post. I have felt this way in the past and honestly, recently this week.

"I know I'm always smiling, and seem full of energy, but some days behind that is a wounded person, that's just like you.... HUMAN."

That sentence hits close to home for me. I Smile to mask what's going on. It has always been my defense mechanism. But because I smile no one cares to ask how I feel. It has always made me feel as if i'm alone and no one truly understands me and i am misunderstood.... But through it all I have kept my head High. And continue to smile....


[BTW: your blog doesnt send out updates for some reason....]

Jeff0418 said...

Well Buddy I can honestly say I feel your pain, everything you said is so true and then some. I am so glad you got it off your chest though seriously. I know just from talking to you and knowing you over these few years that you have been the "rock" for so many people and you get less than that in return.I Know you will be "just fine,fin, fine whooo!" You know I got your back anytime you need that shoulder to lean on...

Yafa 'Milan' Jones said...

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Yafa 'Milan' Jones said...

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Have a nice week.
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Oyin said...

Just be you...the sweet person you are...o and cutie too...:P

deonte' k said...

Thanks to each and everyone of you for your comments... I really needed to get this out. Glad Alot of you could identify with me on this subject... :)

slimm215 said...

well we spoke about this on the phone so i have nothing to say here. lol love you punk. lata

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