Thursday, September 10, 2009

Why Continue to Date A Guy....

...........who is obviously confused about who he is or wanna be? I have an associate that continues to date someone who can't seem to accept the fact that he likes men. I guess there's nothing wrong with someone truly not understanding who they are yet, and learning to deal with the whole homosexuality reality. Because I been there in my life before, when I was younger, but at 38... I think you should kinda be on the path of at least understanding a bit, and at least have found some type of peace and acceptance within yourself, and who you are. And maybe he can't, and its nothing wrong with that either. For some it takes longer, or at times some never find it. But what I don't like is when this 38 year old person continues to date my buddy, and after every weekend they spend together, he gives him that Monday I hate being gay, and dealing with u gays after speech. And my buddy gets on my nerves as well, continuing to deal with the crap, and crying to me about it. My only question is (in the famous SCREAM made by Nettie from the Color Purple) whyyyyyyyyyy!! Whyyyyy!!! Why continue to date this man if he make u feel like this? Is having someone that important that some of us just settle for anything? Is that what we've come to these days? Talk to me someone.... what's your opinion?

7 comments:

NiTajMe said...

First and foremost, if a person can't love himself for who he is, then he is bound to make the people around him miserable. I would advise your friend to seriously reconsider trying to build anything with this guy. Being "unequally yoked" is mental suicide, and no one should do that to themselves. Furthermore, when you settle for someone, then you settle for everything that comes along with him/her...including the baggage.

Tairebabs said...

I agree with NiTajMe. If you don't love yourself how can you love someone else or care about them or how your words hurt them? I know it will be hard for your friend to end his relationship with the guy but he needs to move on from someone who feels regret from being with him.

Bombchell said...

hmm 38. well i guess it depends on what year or month he came out, was it recently. Your friend is being put in a horrible situation and he needs to talk to his guy. U cant be having "morning after" regrets everytime. he needs to pick one and follow thru and accept it.

speaking hypothetically said...

I could'nt imagine dating someone like that with the Morning after regrets. I think your friend should find someone more secure with himself and leave the 38 yr old alone.

Jon said...

Your friend probably is so into this guy that he has learned to deal with such statements.Honestly, even if a guy was unable to come to terms with himself, I'd personally have no problems with him because I simply cannot judge a human being in such a way when I have my own flaws. Also, the dating pool of acceptable guys that aren't assholes is slim these days. Maybe the guy offers him great companionship and they click on other levels. I'm not defending the relationship but providing a rationale for what it may be based upon. Is it ok to settle? No. I did that several times before and was miserable. However its ultimately going to be your friends' choice as to how to proceed.

thegayte-keeper said...

Your friend needs to step away from this guy because it is obvious that he needs to find himself...

Jeff0418 said...

Well I'm never one to tell someone to leave a situation alone when it comes to matters of dating etc...but if this guy cant come to grips with whats going on onside your friend may need to take a few steps back and really give the situation a good look and see if it's worth it.

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